Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Savage straights' rights

A couple of days ago, the Bush administrations' Christian medical government subsidiary announced new recommendations for women: specifically, all pre-menopausal women should regard themselves as "pre-pregnant." From The Washington Post ("Forever Pregnant," May 16, 2006):
New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control.

While most of these recommendations are well known to women who are pregnant or seeking to get pregnant, experts say it's important that women follow this advice throughout their reproductive lives, because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed.
First off, for an administration that seems to oppose even birth control, it's probably not entirely a bad thing that they at least want to promote good health for their semen recepticles. However, it would be nice if the guidelines mentioned birth control as a good remedy for avoiding unwanted children and, consequently, unhealthy children. But hey, the little shits are only important while they're in the womb. Afterwards, they become welfare cases, education fund sponges, and eventually follow the course of either being workers or prisonors, either of which is apparently unworthy of the benefits of a decent education or clean air.

Naturally, such things aren't quite surprising from the Bush Administration. As many have pointed out, and as I thought myself immediately upon reading about the new guidelines, they certainly don't seem to expect men to regard themselves as "pre-fathers," and things men can do to their bodies certainly can affect the health of their sperm, and consequently, their offspring. Men, of course are busy ruling and working and stuff, while women should be expected to stay healthy, slim (I kid you not: "...maintain a healthy weight..."), and in the kitchen.

Sex columnist Dan Savage, a homosexual who has been endorsing the start of a straights' rights movement, had great line in his column from today:
There is a bright side in the CDC's announcement: If we're going to regard all females as pre-pregnant, then we can, as my friend Gomez points out, regard all virgins as merely pre-fucked.
I'm only speculating here, but if you maintain a healthy lifestyle, take the right dietary supplements, and still end up having your fetus look like a mutated hammer-head shark, it's a safe bet the Bush administration will still oppose abortion as a remedy.

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